Oh thank you weight loss Gods!

It's a miracle, I didn't have a gain at my weigh-in tonight. I had a teeny, tiny loss, a miniscule 0.4 pound. Even though it's small, I'm thrilled it wasn't the gain I was expecting (and deserved). Total loss is 62.6 and current weight is 176.6.

I don't know why I didn't gain, because I did a lot of wrong stuff last week, from the eating out six times to my little pigout this morning at 2am when I woke up starving. I was so hungry I could have gnawed off my own arm. So I slipped out of bed and raided the refrigerator. I ate a huge chicken breast that was part of a whole chicken I had made for dinner, and I ate the skin. Yes, that's right, I ate the forbidden skin that I always throw away and it was scrumptious.

I also ate four slices of this (Powerseed), made by Killer Dave. Dave is a real guy in Oregon that I've actually emailed a few times to tell him how much I love his bread, and he always personally answers my emails. Super nice guy. He has an interesting life story, served 15 years in prison and then changed his life when he went into the bread making business with his brother. I guess he's a Christian since he always ends his emails with God Bless You. I don't hold that against him, I actually think it's admirable.

But I digress, back to my pigout. I ate a couple cups of fresh blueberries too and a handful of almonds. There's nothing unhealthy to eat in our kitchen, so everything I ate would be considered healthy. I don't know how many Points I ate, I only know I ate too much, way too much. I was like a woman possessed. I haven't done anything like this in the 23 weeks I've been on Weight Watchers. I didn't like the feeling I had when I woke up this morning. I felt sort of sick and very disappointed in myself. What is wrong with me that I can eat like that? It's not normal.

I think the only thing that saved me this week is my dedication to exercising. I missed two days at the gym, but on Sat. I worked out two hours, extra hard. Now if I can just get my dedication back for controlling my eating. Scary stuff to be out of control like I was this morning.

After I weighed in at Weight Watchers tonight I told the leader that I was very lucky and deserved a gain. I told her I was going to thank the weight loss Gods. She said I could thank them this week but they were very busy next week and I'd better not mess up again. She is right...I'd better NOT mess up again.

Exercise 7/21/2008 - 45 mins. cardio:
Treadmill - jogged 30 minutes
Stairclimber - 15 mins. (hard!)
HRM: 608 calories