No, I'm not talking about the Vicodin my doctor prescribed yesterday, although that's a possibility considering the pain from my stupid ovarian cyst. I'm talking about my exercise addiction, and it's not a good thing, really, it's not.
Case in point, my husband came home yesterday very excited because he'd just passed an extremely difficult test to get his SQL Server 2005 certification (boring geek stuff). It's something he's been working towards for the last eight months, with classes every Saturday and Sunday, and hours of homework every week. So it's a very big deal.
This is sort of how our conversation went Friday night when my husband walked in the door around 5pm:
Me: Hey - congratulations! I'm very proud of you.
Husband: It was tough, but I passed! Let's go out to dinner and celebrate. Why are you wearing your workout clothes?
Me: Well, I have to go workout. I thought we were going to celebrate tomorrow if you passed the test. You want to celebrate tonight? (inside I'm thinking noooo! I have to work out and I don't have enough Points left to eat out).
Husband: Well, I sort of want to celebrate tonight, but I guess if you have to work out, we can go tomorrow (with a disappointed look on his face).
Me: If you really don't want me to go workout and really want to celebrate tonight, I guess I can skip my workout.
Husband: No, I'm glad you're addicted...ah...I mean I'm glad you like working out.
Me: Addicted?
Husband: No, I didn't mean that, I just meant I'm glad you like to work out so much and have made it part of your daily routine.
Me: (as I'm walking out the door) Oh, okay. I'll be back in an hour and a half, maybe two hours.
I got in my car and drove towards the gym, thinking about our conversation, and I wonder... what the hell is wrong with me? I'm a selfish, self-centered bitch, and I would hate being married to me. What's wrong with me that I can't skip a day of exercise without feeling guilty? Sometimes I need to consider his needs and not mine first and foremost.
I'm halfway to the gym (a six-minute drive) when I turn the car around and call my husband. I tell him I'm sorry. Let's go celebrate your accomplishment. I can skip working out tonight. It's more important to celebrate with you. I can tell he's thrilled and he suggests our favorite Mexican restaurant. I cringe inside, thinking Mexican food, what can I eat there? I tell him sure, that sounds great. Then I realize, it's not always all about me. Sometimes it's about the other people in my life. The people I love.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I'm an addict
Posted by Diana at 10:08 AM
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2 comments:
Aw, I'm proud of you, Diana! I really am! I know how hard it is to break routine to do something special. It's so easy to stick to plan when you're in the zone and following your routine. It's not so easy when someone throws you a curveball and spontaneously decides they want to eat out or something. I know how much it sucks when you're running low on points when they decide this, too. I've realized though, and it sounds like you might have, too, that one day isn't going to send you off course! This is your life, and life isn't always by the book, unfortunately. Think, though, of how much that probably meant to your husband. You really showed him how important he is in your life. Maybe next time you guys could go out to dinner and then maybe go for a walk together afterwards?
Pamela, it was really hard to skip my workout that night, but I'm glad I did. Even though I got violently ill from the food. I wasn't sure though if it was the food or the two Vicodin I took because of my ovarian cyst pain. It was horrible that day. I've never taken two Vicodin in my life - usually just one. I'm a real light weight when it comes to drugs.
My husband has promised me now that his classes are over he'll get back to exercising with me. He used to always work out with me but then he got too busy with studying. He definitely needs to lose weight (about 50 pounds), so hopefully we'll get back to doing our walks after dinner again.
~Diana
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