Monday 1/5/2009 Weigh-in

I lost 1.4 pounds this week. It's not much, but it's a loss. I'm surprised, especially after my three-day "I'm starving to death!" rampage I had over the weekend. I think the six days of one-hour workouts saved me from myself. 

Current weight: 162.2 pounds

Lost this week: -1.4 pounds

Total lost: -77 pounds

BMI:  25.8

There's something very interesting about the 162.2 number. That number is almost exactly the lowest weight I got down to the last time I did Weight Watchers in 2006. I'm looking at my Membership Book and on 12/21/2006 I weighed in at 162.4. 

Immediately after that weigh-in, it all went downhill. All my hard work, all my dedication to losing and keeping the weight off, gone like a puff of smoke. I started gaining weight, and during 2007 I proceeded to eat myself right back to where I had started...239 pounds.

Nothing traumatic happened to cause me to get sidetracked. No one died, my marriage wasn't falling apart, I didn't lose my job. I have no excuse, no reason for the madness that ensued for a full thirteen months where I didn't exercise, not even once, and ate everything I wanted. I had no boundaries when it came to food.

February 12, 2008 I decided enough was enough. I was 52 and fat. Not a good combination. That's the day I rejoined Weight Watchers and started all over again.

You might wonder why this time around is different. Why won't I gain the weight back this time, as I have done several times before? I wonder that myself. Why do I think I'll succeed? I honestly don't have an answer, I just feel like I will. 

I feel stronger this time, physically and mentally. I'm more committed to reaching my goal AND maintaining it. I've also accepted there's no end to this journey. I'm not going to reach my goal of 135, lay back, relax and have a party for myself where I eat myself into oblivion. It's simply not going to happen. I've made a lifelong commitment to health and fitness. 

Losing 70 pounds and then re-gaining it the next year has humbled me. I certainly don't have all the answers and every day of my life will be a struggle with food, similar to the struggles of an alcoholic or a drug addict. I could screw it up any minute.

I have great empathy for anyone struggling to lose weight. I've been there many times myself, and I'm still there now. I know what a hard road it is to travel. It's very possible I'll stumble and fall again, but if I do I'll just get back up and get back to it.

I have one tiny bit of advice for anyone reading this. Never give up on yourself. If you slip and fall, and you will because you're human, just pick yourself up and keep trying. The slips may be for a few hours or a few days or weeks, or maybe even years (as in my case), but do not give up. If I can do this, trust me, then you can too.