Instead of going to the gym on my lunch hour today, I went for a walk with Joanne. She's someone that's more of a work acquaintance than a friend, although I think she could easily become a friend. She's easy to be with, fun to talk to and we share a common curse, we both struggle with being overweight.
Joanne has been walking every day for over a year, she lost 25 pounds during that time and then gained it back, plus a few extra pounds. She said she needs to lose about 100 pounds and she's very disappointed in herself for having lost control. Joanne said she just couldn't control her eating and didn't know what to do. I wanted to give her some answers, but I just don't have any. I've done the same thing, lost and regained the weight (anywhere from 40 to 120 pounds each time) over and over during my life. I'm the last one to give any advice on how to lose weight and maintain the loss. We talked about it, trying to figure out the "why" of the whole thing, but we couldn't come up with any answers.
It made me realize I've been doing this same thing for most of my adult life, and I still haven't figured it out. Gaining 6.6 pounds in three weeks proved to me just how easily I can slip into my old lifestyle and quickly gain back every pound I've worked so hard to lose. This time really isn't different from all the times I've done this before. I like to say it's different and that this time I'll lose it forever. But let's be real here, I'm the same person, with the same love of food and hatred of exercise. I am who I am. I'm not sure a person can really permanently change who they are, especially when it involves the relationship they've had with food their entire life.
The only thing I haven't tried to cure this affliction is to see a therapist. Mainly because I have a deep distrust of the entire psychiatric field. This probably comes from watching my schizophrenic nephew go in and out of mental facilities, go through numerous programs with various therapists, be put on a variety of medications that didn't work, until he spiraled down into a depression so deep that he committed suicide. So much for the thousands of dollars and all the hours spent with his psychiatrists. My conclusion from all of this was basically, I have no faith in the therapists/psychiatrists of the world. For the most part, they don't know what the hell they're doing.
In spite of this, there's a part of me saying I need some serious help. I'm not going to be able to do this on my own. Since I've never been successful at maintaining a weight loss before, what makes this time different? Once again, I don't have the answer.
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Day 2 of counting Points and staying OP
Exercise:
45 mins. walking
30 mins. elliptical
2 comments:
But see, this time you have us! :o) Just kidding. Well, you do, but I don't know how much help we are. I'm glad you have Joanne there to talk to about all of this. I'm sure it's nice having someone there that understands. As you know, I've often wished for answers myself. I don't see anything wrong with talking to someone if you think it might help. I probably would myself if I had the extra funds.
I have a B.S. in psychology, so at one time I wanted to go into the field. I do have a problem with psychologists/psychiatrists who want to push pills first and then counsel (if at all). If you do decide to go this route, and the first one you visit doesn't quite fit, don't give up! I've heard that it might take a couple of tries to find the right one.
I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your nephew. I can't imagine how painful that must have been for you and your family.
Hang in there! I'm here for you and I know you can do it this time!
Pamela - thanks! You're so sweet. And yes, I'm very thankful I have you (and the few others that kindly comment). You're all a huge help, and I'm always grateful for your words of wisdom.
You should have continued in the psychology field as a therapist. You would have been one of the rare ones that would actually help people.
As far as the cost, my insurance provides 20 counseling sessions a year (of my choice, whether it's for traditional counseling, marriage counseling or even binge eating). I just have to pay a $15 copay. I think most insurance companies do this, or maybe it's because I work for an airline and they know we're all a little mentally ill.
Thanks again! ~Diana
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