The grass isn't always greener

Last week I picked blackberries during my lunch hours with my coworker, David. We went down a walking trail near our work where there are thousands of blackberry bushes loaded with plump, juicy, sweet blackberries. We picked berries, talked and sometimes just wandered off on our own in search of the perfect blackberry patch.

David noticed I was always getting myself stuck in the brambles, crying out in pain as I tried to unattached my hair, skin and clothing from the thorns of the blackberry bushes as I went deeper and deeper into the blackberry patch. It was always because I could see the perfect berries just beyond my reach. David asked me if I'm one of those "the grass is always greener" kind of people. He never goes in the bushes and never gets thorns and stickers in his clothing and hair, or scratches on his arms and legs. I looked like I got in a cat fight and came out the loser. Yet David gets just as many perfect berries as me.

It made me think this is exactly how I live my life. I'm always seeking something which is just outside my reach, my perfect weight of 135 pounds. In the process of trying to reach this goal, I tend to miss the good stuff that's right under my nose (just like how I pick blackberries). I keep thinking when I reach goal, my life will be perfect. I know that's nonsense, but I can't help thinking that it might be true.

If I'd just stop and look around me, I'd realize I really have it pretty good now. I have an interesting job that pays me me more than I'm worth, and I have great coworkers. I have a loving husband that loves me unconditionally, and a cat that loves me conditionally. I'm lucky enough to have a few really good friends that I can always count on, and a sister and brother that would go to the ends of the earth for me.

Yet I totally focus on the fact that I'm not at my ideal weight so the rest of my life must be crap. That's a completely ignorant thought process. I need to enjoy the things I already have, and I need to do it now, not wait until I weigh 135. If I can get to my ideal weight, that's just a bonus. The grass isn't necessarily always greener, it just looks like it from here.