I think it was a binge...

Yes, it was definitely a binge, a binge of healthy food, but a binge is a binge. Since I've added jogging to my exercise routine I'm very hungry, hungrier than I've been since the start of this journey. Yesterday was no exception and before I even got home I had consumed all 23 of my Points. I had earned 6 Activity Points and with my 5 Flex Points I allow myself every day, I still had 11 Points to play with for the evening.

But I did a stupid thing, I decided I wouldn't use those 11 Points and I'd stick to just my 23 Points, so that meant nothing for dinner. Sometimes I wonder where I come up with stupid stuff like this. It was a disaster waiting to happened, and it happened.

At 8:30p I decided to have a WW giant fudge bar, 1 Point. That started a downhill slide. This is what I consumed in the next 2 1/2 hours:

4 Points - 2 WW Fudge Bars (includes the first one at 8:30pm)
9 Points - 5 Fresh Mozzarella cheese sticks
1 Point - 1 Fuji apple (the tastiest thing I ate during this binge)
2.5 Points - 2 Babybel Light Cheese
6 Points - 6 oz. turkey breast (approx. since I didn't weigh it)
4 Points - 23 almonds

Total damage = 26.5 Points

Wow, looking at everything I ate (and I put in my online food tracker) - that was definitely a binge, healthy food or not, no one should eat that much in a 2 1/2 hour period. Luckily I fell into a food induced stupor and went to bed so the binge ended.

This morning I weighed and there was some damage from my little escapade last night. I gained one pound, 191.6 when I was 190.6 yesterday. Probably from all the cheese. Did I enjoy it? Not really. First, it was healthy foods, not anything that I don't eat on a regular basis. Second, I hadn't planned it and I felt out of control, a feeling I hate. I could have done a lot worse, but the point is, I did it so I guess I'm human after all.

It's out of my system and today I'm back into being in control. I need to figure out how to make 23 Points go farther. That's only about 1150 calories (depending on the fiber), and that doesn't go very far in satisfying me. I have to cut somewhere and I suspect one thing that has to go are my 70 calorie fresh mozzarella cheese sticks. I love them but they're two Points each and don't really satisfy me. Probably why I ate five of them last night. Guess I won't be buying those anymore. I need to eat more vegetables and more fiber. That's one thing I didn't do yesterday, I didn't have my nightly serving of roasted vegetables. I usually roast up a big pan of vegetables with a little olive oil and salt. I love it and it's very satisfying. Probably if I had eaten that I wouldn't have had my binge.

I have a dear friend that goes to Weight Watcher meetings with me. We've been best friends for fourteen years, and I love her like a sister. We've both been struggling with our weight as long as we've known each other, both going down and then back up, usually at the same time. At our meeting our leader had a box of the new Weight Watcher cookies, only one Point each. I looked at the box and laughed, I said I could never eat just one, I'd eat the entire box. After we got outside, my friend looked at me and said 'you're not really one of those people that would eat the entire box, are you?'. She doesn't have this problem so it's hard for her to understand my binge eating. I can forgive her for this because heck, I don't understand it myself.

Today is a new day, for which I am very thankful. I think I learned a lesson yesterday, that I'm still the same person, but I'm different. I can have a binge and my world won't end, and I won't run out and buy cakes and cookies and run totally amok. I won't gain back the 46 pounds I've lost with just one night of crazed eating. Today I will make better choices and not get myself into that place I was last night.