I have a huge personality flaw that I wish I could overcome. I can't stand sick people, or more specifically, I can't stand my husband when he's sick. There, I said it. It's the truth and a terrible cross to bear. I like to think of myself as sweet, kind, loving, generous, caring, at least I try to be these things. Unless you're my spouse and you're sick, then I become an entirely different person.
I can deal with sickness with some people, like my mother. When she was 85 she was very ill for a couple of months. My sister and I took turns staying with her and caring for her. I didn't mind one bit and was happy to help her any way I could. I doted on her, making home cooked meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, trying to help her get her strength back. I loved her to pieces, and she had cared for me more times than I can count.
However, if the sick person is my husband, all bets are off. I'm an absolute bitch. There's just no other way to describe me. I hate to see him weak and when he acts like a baby, I absolutely cringe. We've been married 20 years and fortunately for me (I guess for him too), he's rarely been sick.
Last night he came down with the flu and he was burning up with a fever. I tried to be sweet, honestly, I really gave it my best effort. I even made some homemade chicken noodle soup, and I don't even like chicken noodle soup.
After a couple of hours of "could you bring me some water", "I need a straw", "could you go out to my truck and get my special cup, the red one", "I need another pillow", "I need some aspirin", "the soup is too hot", "the soup is too cold", "I want the soup in a cup not a bowl". Oh my freaking God, are you kidding me?!
After the 'I want the soup in a cup not a bowl' request, I just lost it. I told him is there anything I can do right for you?!
It was not a good night at all, for either one of us. I'm sorry he's sick, but secretly, I think I'm more sorry for me than for him. Does that make me an evil, witch of a wife? Probably.
Did this whole scenario make me want to eat? YES! Did I? Again, YES! Not a full-out binge, but I ate more than I should have, about 20 Points over what I had available for the day (20 + 5 APs). I guess most people would call that a binge, but trust me, that's nothing compared to what I could have done.
I didn't have my protein shake that I've been having every night because I ate a bunch of other crap. I found an old Weight Watcher ice cream bar all by it's lonesome in the bottom of the freezer. I ate it, but I still didn't open the two new boxes of bars that have been there for two weeks. I also ate two low-fat cheese sticks, Rye Krisp low-fat crackers, grapes, two Luna Bars (and I don't even like them) and about 4 oz. deli turkey breast. Not horrible, but not good either. I did this all at my bewitching hour of 11pm. Alone.
He stayed home sick today, I'm at work. I promise tonight will be different. I'm going to leave that bitch Nurse Ratched at the front door, and when I walk in the house tonight I will really try to do a Nurse Nightengale impersonation (including the slender reference, no eating over my Points tonight).
She is a ‘ministering angel’ without any exaggeration in these hospitals, and as her slender form glides quietly along each corridor, every poor fellow's face softens with gratitude at the sight of her.
Exercise 10/24/2008:
1 hour Bootcamp (included 15 minutes running/sprinting outside)
3 comments:
Aww, Diana, you are deninitely not alone on this one. My dear hubby is sick right now , and I am trying my best to comfort him, but I become so annoyed with him at the same time. I am use to him being so strong & so tough that when he gets sick I just freak. I also want to be a nurturing person, because he is to me when I am sick, but all of the whining and ridiculous requests get old, fast! Your incident last night was nothing to worry about. You are not binging, and you are monitoring yourself so well. I am very proud of you! Have a great weekend.
I'm proud of you, too, Diana! Even though you ate a bit more than you normally would, it sounds like you kept it in check. I'm sorry the hubby is sick. I know he must be miserable. But some of those requests? Come on. You have a right to be a little irritated. "My special cup"?!? :)
Thanks Ella. I know that's what it is, he's suppose to be the strong one and when he's weak, I just don't know how to handle it. Well, I handle it, but not very well.
Pamela - I know, his special cup. Oh brother! It's a commuter cup we got at Costco that's guaranteed not to leak if it falls over. He said he was so weak he couldn't hold a regular glass.
By the way, he's much better today. Thank God!
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