The worst aerobics class ever!

Today I didn't feel like working out, I wasn't in the mood to make my body jump around and get my heart rate up. When I'm feeling like this it's a good idea for me to attend an exercise class. So today at lunch I thought I'd give one of the aerboics instructors at the YMCA another try. I went to her class a few times when I started working out, about nine months ago. It was so boring I thought I was going to die. 

Well, nothing has changed, it was just as miserable as I remembered it was nine months ago. So here's a letter to today's aerobics instructor (she doesn't read this, so I can be honest - although, I'm really tempted to send it to her anonymously):

Dear Anita,

1. Be on time. Somehow I managed to get out of my office, drive in my car, park, run inside, change into workout clothes, get my step set up and be in position two minutes before the class was scheduled to begin. I pay dues at the Y which pays your salary. Therefore, I expect the same timeliness from you. Please don't waste my time setting up your step, getting your music going, hooking up your microphone, all AFTER the start time of the class. This annoys me to no end. I'm there to workout, not watch you get ready. 

2. If the class you're teaching is listed as a high-intensity step aerobics class, don't play Bridge Over Troubled Water in the middle of the class when our heart rate should be at it's maximum. That doesn't work for me, or anyone else in the class. 

3. If you've been teaching the same tired, old routine for nine months, it's time to change things up a bit.

4. If you've been teaching the same tired, old routine for nine months, YOU should know it by now and not be messing up. It's hard for us to do what you say, then you don't. It makes it confusing. "Oh whoops!" over and over annoys me.

5. Get some decent music for God's sakes! If you can't put together a tape or CD yourself, you can actually buy workout CDs already prepared for you. I even found out the gym has some available for you to use. Yes, I know, especially since you told me, that you'd have to spend some time learning a new routine, but do you have any freaking idea how boring your routine is for us? I practically want to fall asleep.

5. Give us some encouragement, hoop and holler while you're working out. Saying 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 about 500 times during the hour is enough to make me want to kick you in the teeth.

6. You have a fantastic body, why on earth are you wearing the rattiest, nastiest looking workout clothes I've ever seen? I know you have a great body because I've seen it naked in the locker room. I'd kill for your body. You can bet I'd dress to show it off, even during aerobics. Heck, especially during aerobics to give everyone something to aim for, a body like yours.

7. If there are only two people in your class, week after week, and today, three people counting me, get a clue. There's something wrong with your class. People don't like it. Check out the Friday class with Debbie, it's packed. Now there's a class that rocks. You could learn something from her, her music, her moves, her cothes, her encouragement, her emphasis on breathing, her goal to keep our heart rate up high, and the variety. Oh God, I love the variety. Always something new and fun to do. Try her class, you might learn something.

Just so you know, I won't be back to your class, ever, because honestly, it was the worst aerobics class I've ever attended.

Sincerely,

Diana